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  1. Hi Matthew,
    I enjoyed reading your rendition of Rama's exile, and felt like you captured the essential details well. I like the focus on Lakshmana and how you included the events behind him being able to stay up and guard Rama all night, thanks to his wife taking the burden of sleeping off his shoulders. Showing Rama's forgiveness towards Manthara for exiling him was a good way of showing off his humanity and good nature that makes him Rama. Even Rama's brothers are able to forgive Manthara, and the act of doing so was referred to as "channeling their inner Rama". It was confusing on why Manthara betrayed Rama in the first place, and her reasoning for doing so could have been elaborated on further or had a paragraph building up to her action. Overall, your story was a good read and I think you did a great job writing the parts important to you in a different manner.

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  2. I think that your story "The Pandavas" has a lot of good stuff going for it! There are a couple of things that I wanted to note though. The first thing that caused me to do a bit of a double take was the word "mated" when you are talking about Kunti. For me, that word gives an animalistic and very impersonal connotation. If that is what you are going far, great! I would add some sentences to explain why you want this connotation within the story though. If not, I would just change that word. There were also a couple of typos in the story, so I would just go though and read it one more time. Also, in your story you say that Duryodhana and Shakuni win "fair and square." This is not the case! Shakuni cheats at dice (his backstory is actually super interesting and kind of justifies his actions a bit more).

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  3. Hi Matthew! I am glad I am here when there are two stories so I can get a good sense of your writing style! First of all, I like that you chose to do a portfolio, I have also chosen to do that and I feel like it is a good way to improve upon your writings throughout the semester that you like best! Second of all, I love the images you chose to put throughout your site. I think that they make the stories more mystifying. I think the more photos the better and the fact that you have a header photo and then a photo lower down before the author's note in the first story breaks it up very nicely. I wish that you would do the same for the Pandavas story! I also wish that there was more to the author's note in the second story since the first one went so in depth! I would love to know what inspired you to write this story! I will also note that I loved how you decided to include one story from The Ramayana and one from the Mahabharata! I wonder what your next story will be and if it will be from our recent units!

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  4. Hi Matthew!
    First of all, I love the layout of your website. It is super unique yet easy to navigate through which I really enjoy. I really enjoyed how you liked to incorporate more than one photo in your stories. I find that sometimes we envision something completely different than what the author intended or nothing at all, and including these images really allows for the imagery to be present while reading. One side note that I have is that majority of us read all different versions of these Indian Epics so keeping that in mind and making detailed author's notes is. important. In doing that the reader has a good background and has. a. better understanding of the story. Overall I think you have a great portfolio and your writing style is great. Keep up the good work and I am excited to see what more you have in store.

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  5. What's up Matt! I really liked your story of "The ox who won the forfeit". I am glad you added to the beginning of the story to provide more background for the reader because that is always very helpful. It made it much more interesting and I felt I had a very solid foundation to begin continuing the story. I thought not having the ox talk until the very end of the story was a very clever thing to do. Having him talk to his owner only because the owner messed up really spoke volumes to the owner and we were able to see the power of having the ox only talk at the end of the story. The picture you have for the story really encompasses all the different aspects to the story which I really like. I thought you did a very good job with this story Matt and I hope you continue to strive for excellence!

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